13-feb-2009 Trichur < chronicles decoded from a dreamer's dairy, just as it is,,,.... sincerely...>
Hi again, Its night 11.30 now,after all the way from the hectic tedious rounds of the day I feel my energy has completely drained out.Even a late night shower couldn't make any difference.To get away from the suffocating stuffiness of my lodging room i just opened up the balcony door.In the vicinity the electrified Amala medical college at its best.From that skyscraper,when I shifted my conscious to the the neighbouring rooms,the lights where seen virtually nowhere except room number 205,luckily that's mine!.Regardless of my drooping eyelids,i decided to write down something about the last fourteen days which really added up many flavours of experiences to my edgy saga called life, that too in a brand new identity in a relatively unfamiliar place.
When i was asked for the supervision of my students here in Amala cancer institute-Trichur, with there oncology clinicals for 14days with one of my fellow workers,i was amidst dilemma initially to choose or not to?.At the end of the day after a serious mulling over i nodded,anticipating that it would offer me a change{v can believe in-as like Obama's election slogan} from normal annoying crowd and from the routine academic hours,though its good to be A Teacher "always" in "all ways"....!!!
In this late night,indeed the last night of my fortnight mission,when i retrospect,hitherto everything have came out well with his grace,except some mere initial turmoil,in first couple of days.Apart from the academic aspects,these days have really helped to a greater extent to explore the multi-faceted temperament of my students with a fine--tooth comb and also to establish a good deal of camaraderie with them.What's more,my colleague was at her best,friendly,supportive and dynamic.
The last couple of weeks have really made me to feel so close to this Amala campus and nearby Vilangan hills,may be just because the smiles i get from the anonymous well-wishers here, have grown larger and wider, as my co-worker mocks me all the way.In fact through our regular walks for quite few days here, we are no more strangers to the each one out here,includes both viable and non-viable stuffs!!Though most of these chuckling faces may move out of sight as I move from here to my routine life schedule,never the one in physio unit,who captured my conscious for quite few moments and greeted me through her never-spoken words and indeed with her ebullient eyes through a spontaneous spark of strangers chemistry...!!!.Was it her glowing eyes inside the dark ebony veil that virtually stopped my breaths for a while..?Whatsoever,i couldn't say even a 'al-vida' to her.
My mere infatuation came to an end when the old dusty clock on the corner of room reminded me with12 strokes.Its time to doze off.But still this piece of writing would be a mere insensate if I wind up without expressing my deep concerns about the clients out here,who live with amid chaos between greenish life and staring devastating death,with a sluggishly slender and fairly feeble notion called -Hope...!!!Astonishingly,most of them always managed to keep a smirk on their face cover,even when the fatal malignancy hunts its newer localities for metastasis.This deeply agonizing scenario from Nargis Dutt ward {a cancer ward here,built in memory of Sanjay Dutt's mother,latter died of cancer} took my mind to some years back where i too was a student and had been posted in Kidwai instituteof oncology,Bangalore for a month.There we guys had a pet from the children's ward,namely Ayesha Fathima-a 4 yr old little girl,who was suffering from A.L.L {Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia},who captivated whole our attention and staggered us with her sheer bravery and courage.Our ever-long break times too seemed so short n small all the time as the little girl wanted to be with us that time to take her food,to share her dreams with us.What's more,just with in a weeek she was the apple of our each ones eyes..!!Sky was her limit as she always dreamed of becoming a pilot one day.Even the dreadful disease nor invasive treatment couldn't vanish away her lovely cute smile with that chweety dimple.I am sure not even a single child can be as tough as our little ayesha.I had had been with her for an intense painful chemotherapeutic drug administration one day.As the soluted fluid begun to flow through,hurting deeply her little vessels,i stared to her innocent eyes with a sense of compassion.But to my surprise,she was neither mouring nor shedding tears,instead the little girl just embraced my forefinger tightly with one of her tender hands.Her little hands were so chilly than ever before..!!
"Heartbreaking memories neither ends nor dies......"!!!!! Its Feb-14th now[1.pm],ironically yet an other lovers day too has arrrived.To wake-up to a brand -new day of happenings i embraced my bed.But either the 'eyes-shutted' electric light bulbs or breezy electric fan couldn't assure me a sound sleep,,,"as the tides of memories in the shores of my mind were never-ending...!!!
What might have happened to that ambitious little girl..???Is she recovered....?Or.............???
Try to keep my mind serene,i closed my eyes,and eventually slipped in to a a semi-siesta.As the sleep conquered me,bountiful of ironical dreams rided my wisdom so high,precisely to the extreme heights,more likely to the altitudes of solitude,but never the certitude!!! The snowy,silky clouds wraped the dreamscape and the soul-soothing avian twiters reverberated my sensorium.When i was gazing these vague eveanscence in valleys of lonliness with a great wonder,more amazingly a slow,tender touch shaked my fingers..............
And shockingly i re-realized that,,,it was so-chilly...!!!!!!!
:hruthayapoorvam nisar vellapully.........
life is beautiful*.......(*conditions apply)
